Today is a comedy of errors

It's only 11 am, and I'm already looking at the clock and thinking, "Is it bedtime yet?" That's pretty bad.

Our day started fine. Better than fine, even. Alex slept in a bit, and the house was clean. Life was good.

Then we realize that Meredith's beta fish, Choo Choo, had chugged his last during the night. I broke the news to her while Mike disposed of the dead fish. Her little face crumbled and she sobbed hysterically like her heart was broken. Then she asked in a small voice if we could get another fish. I really don't want another fish, particularly since my husband - who is supposed to be in charge of fish care at Casa de Mike and McGee - has slacked off on tank cleaning lately. But I succumbed to the pitiful look on her face and told her yes, we could get another beta fish.

Mike left for work, and the kids and I waited for 10 am to roll around. You see, we're interviewing babysitters. Real babysitters that we pay to show up at a certain time and entertain the kids so we can have a life. We've never had real babysitters before. We've traded off childcare duties with friends before, and we've let family members watch the kids, but for whatever reason, we never hired a regular babysitter. I took the giant leap and set up a bunch of interviews this week. Meredith in particular was very excited about this and had her own set of questions for the candidates. You know, important questions like, "Do you like Rapunzel?"

Ten o'clock came and went and the babysitter did not show up. I had already written her off when she finally rang the doorbell at 10:25. She offered no excuse for her tardiness, so I opted not to say anything. Actually, I was too busy trying to corral the dogs to say much. Dexter does not like strange people in HIS house, and Zelda is just your typical poorly behaved puppy who wants to jump all over anyone who enters the house.

I escorted the potential babysitter into the living room and gated Zelda in the kitchen, where she barked a constant high-pitched bark until she got herself worked up enough that she tripped over both food dishes and spilled dog food all over the kitchen floor. At that point, I ended up letting her out, and spent the rest of the interview trying to keep her from licking the babysitter to death.

During the interview, Alex got mad about something trivial and flung himself on the floor and screamed. Meredith interrupted a few times with questions of her own, but she was pretty well behaved. The babysitter didn't have much to say in response to my questions and didn't have any questions for me, so it was short and sweet.

After she left, Meredith got mad that Spongebob Squarepants wasn't on television, and she threw an epic tantrum because everything her brother wants to watch on tv is "lame and boring." Insert giant roll of the eyes here. She then ran off with the remote control and threw an even bigger fit when I took it away from her.

Alex then slipped in the dog food that was all over the kitchen floor and cried. Once I got him calmed down, I had to drag Meredith out of the freezer because apparently 11 am is the perfect time to scream for gelato or ice cream. I got yogurt for both kids and went back to the kitchen to clean up dog food. I was interrupted multiple times by Zelda trying to eat Alex's yogurt because he won't. stay. at. the. table. with it. Lots of screaming, followed by Alex wearing more of the yogurt than he ate. I don't know how it got all over him, and I don't want to know.

I had a few moments of peace before more screaming began. This time because Meredith was in my closet, digging around for craft supplies to use, and she'd locked her brother out of the room. Neither one of them was supposed to be in there, so more crying and yelling followed as I escorted both of them back to the living room. A few minutes later, Meredith stomped back into the kitchen and said, "ALEX THREW MILK ON MY HEAD!" Sure enough, she had milk droplets on her head, chest and arms, and a few feet behind her, stood her brother, holding his sister's cup of milk and grinning proudly. Milk was confiscated, Meredith was dried off, and Alex was sent to a short time out, which of course meant more screaming.

It is not even noon, and I'm already ready to tear out my hair. We have another babysitter interview at 1pm, and I'm hoping that my kids can get the tantrums out of their system before then. I may try to bribe Meredith with the promise of a new fish if we can get through the afternoon without a major fit.

Is it bedtime yet??